Knowing Your Parenting Style

For parents - here's what you should know:

WHAT KIND OF PARENT ARE YOU?
Know Your Parenting Style and Improve Relationship with Your Family

As a parent, there is no one formula for successfully raising of children. Our styles may vary. Some may be strict while others may be more relaxed in disciplining their kids. Being aware of our personal style as a parent can significantly affect how we relate to our partner and children. It will allow us to have a better understanding, not only of ourselves, but as to how we can enrich our relationship with our family.

LIFO® Method is a practical way to understand your approach to parenting. With LIFO® Method, you will understand how partners react to each other and appreciate each others strengths, examine and understand reactions to children’s behavior, enable desired change in relation to the strengths you possess and understand your unique parenting style.

In the LIFO® Method, there are four parenting orientations or styles. These styles are about our strengths, not weaknesses, and how we are a combination of strengths. Styles are not types, you can discover that you may belong to more than one style, or that in different situations, you prefer to use different styles in dealing with them.

The first step is to introspect and identify which of the four styles best describe you:

Supporting-Giving Style is characterized with these strengths: thoughtful, idealistic, modest, trusting, cooperative, helpful, receptive, responsive, seeks excellence and loyal. The philosophy is “If I prove my worth by working hard and pursuing excellence, I will be able to realize my goals.” Goals are to prove worth and be helpful. This style is symbolized by a mountain, meaning passion for excellence.

Controlling-Taking Style is someone who has these traits: directing, quick to act, confident, seeks change, persuasive, forceful, competitive, risk-taking, persistent, and urgent. The philosophy is “If I can get results by being competent and seizing opportunity, what I desire will be there for the taking.” Goals are be confident and get results, and is symbolized by lightning or passion for action.

Conserving-Holding is a style characterized by being: tenacious, practical, economical, reserved, factual, steadfast, thorough, methodical, detail-oriented and analytical. “If I think before I act and make the most of what I’ve got, I can build up resources to accomplish my goals.” is the philosophy, goals are to go slow and be sure and is symbolized by a constellation for passion for reason.

Last but not least is Adapting-Dealing Style. People who preferred this orientation are usually flexible, tactful, socially adept, youthful, enthusiastic, adaptable, inspiring, experimental, negotiating and animated. The philosophy is “If I am aware of other people and fill their needs first, then I can get my needs filled that I have wanted all along.” with goals to know people and to get along. This style is symbolized by a rainbow for passion for harmony.

After knowing your parenting style, the next step is to find out your partner’s and child’s styles. Knowing their style, you may now know how best to interact with them. A very good example would be relating to our children during their early years.

There are natural periods in a child’s life where it is important to use certain styles in relating to them e.g. 2-3 years old babies are best handled using the controlling-taking style, 4-5 years old toddlers respond more to adapting-dealing style, 6-10 years old kids answer to more supporting-giving and adapting-dealing styles.

Knowing your own preferred style will give you a better understanding on how to relate with your family, especially with your children. To know more about parenting styles, it is best to take the LIFO® Method Parenting Style Survey so you will have a definite picture of your preferred style. Tintin Bersola-Babao shall be having a talk called LIFO® Lifemasters Series on Parenting, of which the survey will be given out as part of the workshop. This is on Friday, September 12, 2008 from 1pm to 5pm at East Café, 2nd Floor of Rustans Makati. She will be there to talk about parenting and knowing your style and share with you how to make a balance between advancing your career and your family. You can contact ACG Human Capital Solutions at 8932445 local 410 or e-mail lifemasters@acghumancapital.com to register.