It's A Wonderful Life: The Story of Us Prelude

I have been thinking... is change good?

So Much To Think

I'm thinking that I am thinking.

Btw, hindi ko na nakakasabay crush ko... :(

What to do...

Rainy Day Thursday

If only...

Sarap magtampisaw sa ulan. I'm sad, di ko nakasabay crush ko sa fx. hu hu hu.

Saw My Crush, I was a Coward

After resolving that shuld I see my crush, I would have the confidence to ask for his name. Yes, I saw him today. I even made "abot" his change when he paid his fare. I was soooooooooo electrified by how soft his hand was. And yes, I CHICKENED OUT! Stupid stupid me.

Anyway, time to get busy, have a report to finish for my 11AM meeting.

Btw, traffic was horrible yesterday, I was an hour late. A tanker smacked into a concretre barrier wrecking havok to traffic. Please, drive responsibly. That's why I dont want to learn how to drive, because I know, I cant drive well...

Seating Beside My Crush

This totally flew out of my mind after my glass door incident. I was excited to write about my skin to skin encounter with my crush but after the glass door, I was deflated.

After four days of hoping I get to ride with my crush in the shuttle going to Makati, finally we were in the same shuttle, and seated right next to each other.

I feel that he also "like" me, but is afraid to do anything about it. He's definitely younger than I am. Just like me, he wore a barong though his is short sleeved. He kind of looks like Piolo Pascual, the shape of his face, lips. And he wears eye glasses.

Anyway, he has been my crush since I first saw him in November. I was actually resolved in asking his name, but of course I chickened out.

I hope next week, when I meet him, I will have the courage to get his name - and a date!

Blagag!

Stupid stupid me. I ran into - smack right into - a glass door! OUCH! I really really thought it was open, it turns out it isn't. Double ouch! People inside saw me and even worse, I think I left an imprint of my face on the glass.

If you want a good wake up call, this is one of the best ways to do - smack into a glass door. It culd have been funny if this was the first time, it aint. It was my second time. Next time, I swear I'm going to take off my shades before entering the building!

Change of Title (Blog)

Why change it. My belief is that putting it out there, I can achieve my goal - financial independence.

Dare I tell the story how I get to be in so much debt? It's because of love, faith, wrong timing, and just plain (bad) luck.

But, I never ever regret any of my past decisions... and for that matter, everything that has been written here since the beginning, it's all me.

I'm just going to be more "businesslike" or "self-motivated" from now on...

Getting What I Want

Yes, I recently purchased my Nokia E51. Obsession done. Am I happy? Nope. Stupid noh? I wanted something else... but now I cant afford it. I tried selling my N70, but in the end, I can't. It's the most expensive mobile phone I bought and even if it hangs now and then, I would keep it ... just for JM to play with. His gameboy is busted. Oh well.


What else is new? Nothing. I need someone to help me with my "on the side" work. I can't pay much but I need it while I'm still working fulltime.

I guess events is really in my blood.

Miss Bikini Philippines 2008

Posting some of the pics of the recent event last May 25, 2008 at PICC Plenary Hall. I watched it, ALONE could you believe that? Amazingly, not one of the people I have asked to accompany me did. Probably, they were just too busy. Hmp. Martin Nievera was there. I really like the way he sings!

Panic Attack

There are times that I feel so overwhelmed with all the things that's happening in my life. Sometimes, I feel so blue... sometimes, stressed. Sometimes, I just like to give up.

What do I do?

Nothing.

I let it pass.

And sometimes, it seems to work.

Ganito Kakulit c JM

JM's Birthday

One month overdue in posting pics. Sorry naman.

6th Month

Six months ago, I went back to the corporate world. He he he, today is my 6th month. Regular na, yehey may benefits na. But still, confused pa rin ako. Kasi naman, yung routine ko sa buhay, sobrang routine na talaga. I have to wake up at 5am para tumayo ng 530am (he he he, 30 minutes to condition myself to wake up), taz breakfast and ligo, kailangan 615am wala na ako sa bahay kundi pipila ako ng matagal sa fx, malalate ako. Then I log-out at 630pm (although hanggang 6pm lng office, additional 30 minutes para di naman masyadong obvious although sa lahat ng officer d2, ako pa rin pinakamaaga umuwi.) Taz makakarating sa bahay ng 830pm or 9pm, sus, antok na ko nun. Kakain lng ng unti, manonood lng ng TV or magbabasa, 930 or 10, tulog na ko.

Pag weekend, rumaraket (kasi naman eh, andami pang babayaran. Baka may maawa der na magpapautang ng pambayad ko sa utang). So, wala talaga akong time sa sarili ko.

Ang Gusto Ko Sana

Obsess ako ngayon. Sobrang obsess ako sa Nokia E51. Eh may wifi kasi eh. Sabi ng kapatid ko na si Arlene na nasa Canda ngayon, makuntento ako sa N70. Sabi ng nanay ko, magbayad ako ng utang. He he he, alam ko naman yun eh. Obsee lng talaga ako. Ako kasi yung tipo na gusto ko ng bago, pero pag andyan na, ayaw ko na. Nakailang palit na ba ako ng cellphone? Parang sex, gusto ko yung "anticipation" of getting it pero pag nandun na, wala lang ha ha ha ha. Syempre di ko sinasabi sa mga nakasex ko yun noh eh di iniwan naman ako sa kama hi hi hi hi. In all honesty, matagal na yun, sabi ko nga nung "sariwa" pa ako. Teka, bakit ba napunta sa sex yung pinagsasabi ko he he he. Eh kasi di ko na obsession yun.

Anyway, gusto ko talaga yung Nokia E51 kasi di cia ganun kamahal. Nasa 12k lng cia, lahat ng features ng N70 PLUS WIFI. Benta ko na nga lng N70 ko para unti na lng dadagdag ko...

Kaya lang may sentimental value sa kin ang N70 ko eh... Andami kong scandal dun we he he he!

God is Good

I thank God for blessing me with my parents and my brothers and sister, and my nephews and nieces. I never really have friends now. I don't know why. I am not who I was, so peer pressure or friends is not really a big deal for me. If only I can get out of my financial difficulties. I want to offer all I have and all I can for my family.

If there's one thing I learn to forget about my problems, I just say to myself... tomorrow, or next month, or next year, this too shall pass.

Random Thoughts 1

Starting today, if and only when I feel like it, and of course if and only when there's internet access, I will be posting my random thoughts.

Hmmmmmm, cant say there's anything on my mind this morning. Im wearing all black, which is kinda stupid coz it's so hot and according to the news, it would get even hotter. Be that as it may (I like that phrase, be that as it may meaning - so? that's it, that phrase kinda mean, and so what else? he he he). Be that as it may = and so, the discourse on that phrase got me off track. That's how random my thought is. Hmmmmmmm. I see, random thoughts - no editing! See, I am a control freak and I hate my keyboard. I'm not a good typists, I type one letter at a time but I made a system of doing it really fast.

My officemate borrowed my tissue paper. Made me off track again, funny, she just got two sheets. Is that enough? She said, "wisik wisik lang" ayos na, ha ha ha, I can't imagine how girls do it. Spray? That's how Biolink is, I guess that's for feminine hygiene. Why don't guys do it? Ha ha ha, coz for guys, "isang pagpag lng, ayos!" Smile.

Another crazy but sensible thing this officemate told me, I dont know why she told me, but she said she use Biolink because Anne Curtis endorsed it. Hmmm, does Anne Curtis really spray Biolink on her *beep beep*? Yuck.
Back to work. I hate it when the last thought in my random thoughts is Anne Curtis' pipi. Change topic. FAST!

Cant think of anything. Another funny observation from a guy officemate, he use Ph Care naman, not for his private parts but for his face. Oh well, men don't use feminine hygience on their weewees but on their face. Weird.

I guess that's a better thought to leave from. Feminine hygiene for the face for MEN!!!!

New Meaning

Finding Mr. Right by rcrj08@yahoo.com
as published in Image Magazine - February 2004
Updated, March 8, 2008

Is it right to find Mr. Right? But actually, the real question is, is there a Mr. Right, not just for me but for everyone? If there is, then, it is not pointless to look and find him. And since my original question is, is it right to find Mr. Right, I am assuming that there exist a Mr. Right for me. Or should I make one perhaps? Or be one? Since I was aware that I am different from everyone else, that happiness is not only self-derived, I have been longing for someone to be my special someone. Maybe it was culture or social conditioning, but the point is – we look for other people for validation and confirmation. I wouldn’t want to be a hypocrite and say that I don’t look for other people for love. Yes, it is the greatest love of all, learning to love one’s self but deep in my heart, it is greater to love and be loved by someone else. Since I came to this conclusion, I realized that longing for that somebody else hurts. It hurts to feel the emptiness of your heart that no matter what you do, you could not just fill it up. It pains to realize that after all the search, after one relationship after another; there is still the void of emptiness. Each relationship brings new insights and the realization that I haven’t met the one; the someone that would make my life different. The one, Mr. Right. How could I find the Mr. Right of my life? I have tried going out for dates, meeting new people. I have been used, abused, manipulated and terribly hurt, only because I thought that if I only give-in, I will have Mr. Right. Talk about being desperate! But still I haven’t met him. Some may argue that to meet Mr. Right, one has to be one. One has to be the right person too. And I believe I am. I am caring, passionate, romantic and giving. I am sincere, thoughtful and sensitive. I appreciate life, I love fun. I am a good conversationalist, understanding, and smart. I am simple, and yet complicated. I am not a high-maintenance person. I admit, I am not perfect, but who is? I am not looking for Mr. Perfect; I am looking for Mr. Right. Mr. Right for me is someone who, unabashedly, will sing me a song or recite to me a poem he had written. He isn’t necessarily good looking but pleasantly clean and neat. He is confident, and supportive, understanding and romantic. He is adventurous, encouraging me to try new things and discover new activities. Sometimes, he is quiet, preferring a night on the bed, talking. Or holding hands at the movies. He would enjoy going to the beach once in a while and with me, wait for the sun to set, the moon and stars to come out, sleep on the sand with the waves of the sea lulling us to sleep only to be awakened by the sunrise. Or an evening where he will cook pasta and set the table with candles and have dessert while listening to my favorite song “Your Song” or watching “Sleepless in Seattle or Serendipity.” We could have the same taste in music, food, books; or not. He can be very complicated, and I would cherish every moment in my life I’m sharing with him understanding his complexity. He could be simple and I would enjoy every moment of simple life, as long as it’s with him. I’ll share with him every thought, dreams and aspirations I have. He could be of my age, or older or younger. He could be all of the above… or not, again, I’m not looking for Mr. Perfect, just the one, someone who would feel right to me. The task of finding Mr. Right may be fruitless, but at least no one can accuse me of not having tried at all. I may be getting older, but definitely, I am getting wiser. If five years from now, Mr. Right haven’t come along yet, I wouldn’t give up but I will go on with my life. The important thing is, aside from Mr. Right who hasn’t come yet, there’s another one who loves me as I am. Me.

Five years had passed. Did I meet my Mr. Right? In a way no, I met Mr. Right Now. But like every love story, or any story for that matter, mine had a beginning and an ending… And it just ended when my Mr. Right found his bride and I became his best man.

Ironic isn’t it?

To love someone for five years and have that chapter in my life end. Funny thing is, I am proud to say that at least, when our story ended, our life as friends began.

He is all of the above as I described and more. But this is not an open letter for him, but a letter for my potential lifemate.

Lifemate.

If there’s one thing I have learned in this quest of mine, is that love happens when you least expect it. But once again, I am putting myself out there, trying to catch the attention of Mr. Right, because maybe, just maybe, he needs a little nudge. Now that I have made my move, the next step is entirely up to him. He can either e-mail me at rcrj08@yahoo.com or call me at 09228383689. I am patient, I can wait… because I know, spending the rest of my life with Mr. Right is worth waiting.

Places I have Been...

left to right/ top to bottom: Vigan, Zamboanga, Laoag, Baguio, Pagudpod, Romblon, Tawi-tawi

To be uploaded: Cebu, Puerto Galera, Ilo-ilo, Pangasinan

Something New

I have been thinking. Last night, I was at Vivere Salon, one of the companies I am servicing as a marketing communications manager. I was there not for myself, but for PR for the salon. Two editors were there last night, Roumel and Penny. These two editors were very very nice and friendly. One thing that struck me most was what Penny said. She wanted a new look because it's the new year (I think she was talking about Chinese New Year). Out with the old, in with the new. That got me into thinking.

It was Valentine's Day last night, and yet where was my Valentine? Gone are the days that I was a hopeless romantic... but I'm rambling. The state of my romance will be discussed in a seperate post.

New beginnings... mmmm

I have started blogging on and off since 2004. But I am using a pseudonym that confuses my post with an ABS-CBN reporter. Yes, this was used to be the www.jayruiz27.blogspot.com and now, it's www.inmy30s.blogspot.com.

And yes, the name at the profile is not Jay Ruiz anymore, but my real name. Why oh why would I reveal my real identity? This blog has so soooo many posts that I, in my real self, would be surprised to read. (Oh yes, I did write those erotic stories, and yes, they did happen years ago...).

I guess what I am saying is, I'm owning up.

Yes, I am in my 30s (in fact, I am just 31).

Yes, I am finally owning up to all the things I have done.

Yes, finally, I am owning up to myself.

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