I Know Him So Well

Nothing is so good it lasts eternally
Perfect situations must go wrong
But this has never yet prevented me
Wanting far too much for far too long.
Looking back I could have played it differently
Won a few more moments who can tell
But it took time to understand the man
Now at least I know I know him well

There was never a closure, there was never really a goodbye. In every relationship, I always end up alone, pondering on what happened - where did I go wrong? Wasn't what I give enough? Oh no, this song is not for every man that left me. Yes, I knew them well after they left me, but this is really about me, how I know myself more after each relationship. Those relationships are never a failure nor are they successful but experiences that I learn from.

But yes, the lyrics of the song fits my love life. Knowing what I know now, I wouldn't plunge into relationships. I would handle things differently.

Wasn't it good?
Wasn't he fine?
Isn't it madness
He can't be mine?
Oh so good
Oh so fine
He can't be mine?
But in the end he needs
A little bit more than me --
More security
He needs his fantasy
And freedom
I know him so well.


It was good while it lasted... but in the end, they do need their fantasy and freedom, so I have to let go...

No one in your life is with you constantly
No one is completely on your side
And though I move my world to be with him
Still the gap between us is too wide.


Ouch, in every relationship, I made them my world. That probably is a big mistake because however much attention and care and love I give, it would seem never enough.

Looking back I could
Have played things
Some other way
Looking back I could
Have played it
Differently
Learned about the man
Before I fell
I was just a little
Careless maybe


Maybe. But in a gay relationship, there is really no "courting" stage. You get to know about the man while you jump into the relationship...

But I was
Ever so much
Younger then
Now at least
Now at least
I know him well
I know I know him well
Wasn't it good?
Wasn't he fine?
Isn't it madness


It's a convenient excuse, I was young then...

Oh so good
Oh so fine

He won't be mine?
Didn't I know
How it would go?
If I knew from the start
Why am I falling apart?

Wasn't it good?
Wasn't he fine?

Isn't it madness
He won't be mine?
He won't be mine?

But in the end he needs a
Little bit more than me --
More security
He needs his
Fantasy and freedom
I know him so well

It took time to understand him
I know him so well