Last Saturday, I attended my boyfriend's wedding (say, ex-boyfriend). I went just because I wanted to prove to myself that I am all right with the situation... and to show him that I am moving on.
I never prepared myself to feel the smargosboard of emotionsI would experience. Seeing him with a girl for the first time, watching them say I do and I love you, witnessing their exchange of vows, and kisses, hugs... DAMN it hurt!
All throughout the ceremony, I just keep on saying, this too shall pass. A month from now, a year from now, I will be over it.
But just like my bestfriend Erich said, take it as it it, damn the hurt.
Uh oh, yeah...
Adding salt to tyhe injury, after the reception, I decided to meet up with my first boyfriend who just landed from a cruise ship. Maybe I want him to be my rebound... damn it, I'm hurt and I'm lonely, I need some loving.
WRONG!
Double the hurt, in the course of our meeting (not date because the "romantic" inclination is one-sided, my side) my ex-bf blurted out that he did not consider what we had in the past as a relationship. WHAAAAAT?
Oh well, if he didn't, I DID! But we were young then, he was 17 and I was 20 then, and that was like 10 years ago... so I forgive him. And we only lasted one semester. In the course of my one sem in my MA course.
Now...
Alone again, naturally.
1 comment:
Ei, it's his lost not yours! At least now you can focus on yourself. Based on your entries, find your ex soooo manggagamit! He's a user, I hope you will not allow yourself to be used again by him or any other people. You deserve someone better. Someone who will love you more than you love yourself. Do not allow yourself to be blinded again by love. Someday, you will realize na what happened to you and your ex is for the better. Show him that you are a better person without him. Goodluck! :)
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